IF MEN RAN THE WORLD

If Men “TRULY” Ran The World….

Valentine’s day

would be

moved to February 29^th

so it would only occur

in leap years.

FACTS ABOUT MEN

By Anonymous

 

1.      Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2.      Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3.      Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4.      Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they’re really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

5.      Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

6.      Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7.      All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

8.      A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9.      All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship”. These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.

10.    Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last dog does not burn, he will take it personally.

11.    Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.

12.    Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13.    Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I’ve never seen a man walk into a party and say “Oh, my God, I’m so embarrassed; get me out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo.”

14.    Most of men take to shop. That’s why the men’s department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

15.    If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three of more types of lettuce, he is serious.

16.    If you’re dating a man who you think might be “Mr. Right”, if he:-

a) got older,

b) got a new job,

c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

17.    No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

18.    When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

19.    When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

20.    Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.

21.    Most women are introspective: “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled” Most men are outrospective: “Did my team win? How’s my car?”

22.    If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t he didn’t forget ….. he didn’t lose your number …… he didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you.

23.    Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, “Are we going to have sex again?” He said, “Yes, but not with each other.”

24.    Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. “Get out” and “I never want to see you again” might sound like a challenge. If you want tog et rid of a man, I suggest saying, “I love you …… I want to marry you ……. I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks.

25.    Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

26.    Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause – you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

27.    Men forget everything; women remember everything.

28.    That’s why men need instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what happened.

THINGS THAT MEN WANT IN A WOMAN!

By Brother Danny

Women often say that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for. They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn't worked so now, the man can concentrate on pleasing them or leave.

Many women don't care what a man is looking for anymore because they have been empowered by their own sexuality and are comfortable in their new role as sexually liberated career woman in charge of their own destiny. In which case, as long as the man wants them, that is fine.

It doesn't matter whether that view is actually true or not. What is true is that the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world. The old male bastions are crumbling and with them their innate self respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire.

Any woman reading this may say well it's a problem for men and they should deal with it. Absolutely one could reply, but you cannot expect miracles instantly. Generations of history dictating a man's role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout. Few can argue against the excitement felt by women as their empowerment continues but at the same time, one must expect issues to coincide with this. 

Men have started to evolve and are starting to grasp the fact that their role may not be as it once was. 'Starting' is the operative word because this does not mean that there aren't large swathes of the world where men insist on being the breadwinner and women should still remain at home rearing children. It is going to take a long time to change the world.

Okay so what does a man want? First of all a man is seeking a love-interest. This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return, in Swahili 'nipe-nikupe'. The problem is that many women come across as impassioned and cold. It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right.

Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful. Men aren't necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don't like women who weigh 60kgs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I don't believe any man who says otherwise.

Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. This may sound like an odd thing to say, but the fact is, some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either. So many in fact that men are increasingly wary. A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.

Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life. Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long term relationship.

Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves. I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering, though some do, it is more the point that men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

Men want women with a great sense of humour. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is 'one of the boys'. What this means is that she is able to fit in with their humour and is sociable and fun to be with. Such women are extremely attractive to many men. Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.

Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and are caring and kind. In recent years, aping men may be a female fashion statement, but it doesn't make them attractive. Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer, it doesn't necessarily attract them to the opposite sex. Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it, but the issue is that they don't. They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.

Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behaviour, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. Men can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.

Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they're in secure territory. When a man is challenged so he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.

Men are generally more reserved about sex than women. They know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it. The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn't there even if they are convinced it is. Men in reality are quite conservative. Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner.

Men want a woman who will commit to them. Though increasingly this is hard to find, it doesn't take away the wish. Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with. Commitment is not a one way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously. But the need is still there. Men don't want to be alone.

THE WOES OF MOTHERHOOD!

By Brother Danny 

 

THE most thought-provoking thing I’ve learnt lately in the society through my counseling sessions isn’t a job promotion or business success for women. Believe you me, it is any report about, of all things, birth and fertility rates.

Though the report may merely contain information that most sisters of the new era already know – a woman’s fertility peaks around the mid-20s, starts to decline in the late 20s and early 30s, and drops dramatically after 39 – it has still managed to provoke great anxiety among a number of childless women.

Usually, things like this do affect many ladies. According to records, in the late ‘80s, when that now-infamous study by a Yale sociologist and Harvard economist in the USA came out saying that college-educated women who were still single at the age of 35 had only a five per cent chance of ever getting married, sisters across America , Europe and even Africa were traumatized. Some immediately went on the husband hunt, the spousal stalk, the paternity prowl.

Their reaction always puzzled me (though I was young by that time still studying) since I assumed it doesn’t take a genius to know that ‘against the odds’ does not mean ‘impossible’ any more than ‘not now’ means ‘never’.

About motherhood, I have always felt the same way. I have always been sanguine enough to take a distance view. Basically, I feel it is the will of God for someone to conceive and have a baby. That’s not to say I never think about the biological clock thing.

Most women in their 30s are facing biology’s ticking watch. Those who are childless are craving for it. Ask your lady friend who have children and she will tell you that motherhood is the experience of a lifetime. A spiritual pinnacle. The ultimate high. The emotional mother lode. So yes, think about the biological clock, but don’t let it to haunt you.

I believe in nature, but above nature, we have to rely to the will of God. There are older sisters who were married in their 20s, but to date they don’t have children or even ever conceived! It’s no joke. But there are unmarried sisters even in their late 30s or early 40s who have got children or fatherless children (though I can’t believe if there is a child without a father).

My mom gave birth to me while she was 44. The old lady thought that I was the last, but she went on to conceive. You know what? Our last born came to this planet earth when our mom was 54! Thank God the lady is still alive at her early 80s.

But something does haunt women. It is something, something about being a mother, something which no statistical report could ever provide the answer to: How do you know you have what it makes to be one? And, even if you think you have the right stuff, how do you know when the time is right for you?

If you can’t answer either question, you don’t even allow yourself to ask the really hard ones, like: Can you make the total spiritual and emotional commitment motherhood requires? And, fertility rates and biological clocks aside, do you have the strength, not to mention the knowledge and wisdom, to handle its phenomenal requirements? The rigors. The responsibility. The weight of the world. The mother load, as Ms Laura Randolph of Ebony magazine once said.

“When I wanted to be a journalist, I went to journalism school. When I wanted to be a lawyer, I went to law school. Both gave me a pretty good indication of whether I’d be able to cut it at either. But how, where and when do you work on the M.M. – Master of Motherhood?” she once asked.

I don’t really know. It’s the mother of all dilemmas. As far as I know, “ Mother School ” does not exist, which Ms Laura said it strikes her as the ultimate absurdity since what job is more important than raising a child.

Most sisters are worried about what is needed to be a mother. They are not sure if they have what it takes to raise a child. Once in a while they are certain they do, and once in a while they are certain they don’t. most of the time they pray that the mothering gene is hereditary – that even if they never do it as well as their mothers, they’ll remember enough of their mothering to at least avoid to mess it up and seek advise from a social service people, though they are rare in Tanzania.

But, even if there’s no such thing as a mothering gene, I advise you sisters to be fairly certain that if and when you do have children, somehow things will be just fine. After all, you have to know the three magic words that will solve any of your problems: “Ask your grandmother.” Some are being taught during Unyago ceremonies in our Bantu traditional and culture.

Being a mother is not just knowing the basics of stuff like how to dye eggs, braid a ponytail and carry an infant in one arm while balancing groceries. You must know about the real weights of stuff: how to bring down a 2 a.m. fever and what to say about death. How to explain to a three-year-old how we know God is real even though we can’t see Him. How to make a child feel safe and secure in a world that is neither.

Your mother, even my mother, knew all of these things. It didn’t matter how many times you brought her your problems, or how simple or difficult they were to fix. Whatever the trouble, she always did the same thing: Right the wrong. Soothe the heart. Make it better.

E-mail: brotherdanny5@gmail.com or +255 715 070109