LAHAULA! SERIKALI INAFANYA MAPENZI NA NGUVUKAZI!

Mwalimu mmoja alikuwa anafundisha wanafunzi wa darasa la tatu somo kuhusu serikali, hivyo kazi ya ziada aliyowapa siku hiyo ni kwa wanafunzi hao kwenda kuwauliza wazazi wao serikali ni nini.

Samuel, aliyekuwa na miaka 7, alirudi nyumbani siku hiyo na kwenda kumuuliza baba yake serikali ni nini. 

Baba yake akafikiria kwa muda kisha akamjibu: "Tazama kwa namna hii: Mimi ndiye rais, mama yako ni Bunge, huyu dada wa kazi ndiye nguvukazi, wewe ndio wananchi na mdogo wako Peter ndiyo maendeleo ya kesho."

"Baba, sijaelewa vizuri," Samuel akamuuliza baba yake.

"Kwa nini usiende kulala kwenye serikali? Pengine utaielewa vizuri," baba yake akajibu.

"Sawa... usiku mwema," Samuel akasema na kwenda kulala chumbani kwake pamoja na mdogo wake Peter (2).

Usiku wa manane Samuel akashtushwa na kilio cha mdogo wake. Akamtazama pale kitandani na kuona kwamba alikuwa amejiharibia (amejisaidia haja kubwa). Basi Samuel akaenda chumbani kwa wazazi wake ili wasaidie kumsafisha mdogo wake.

Akachungulia kupitia kwenye tundu la funguo na kumuona mama yake akiwa anakoroma, lakini baba yake hakuwepo. Akaenda kwenye chumba cha dada wa kazi. Alipochungulia kupitia kwenye tundu la ufunguo akamuona baba yake akifanya mapenzi na dada wa kazi. Samuel akashangaa, lakini akawa amepata picha ya swali lake na kufikiria huku akisema kwa sauti, "Ooh! Sasa naielewa vyema serikali! Rais anafanya mapenzi na nguvukazi, Bunge linakoroma, hakuna anayewajali wananchi, na maendeleo yametapakaa kinyesi!''

NITAWASUBIRI POLISI!

Mwanamke na mwanamume walipata ajali. Magari yao yaliharibika vibaya, lakini kwa mshangao hakuna kati yao aliyeumia.

Baada ya kutoka nje ya magari yao, mwanamke akasema: "Duh, hebu angalia magari yetu - hakuna kilichosalia! Hii itakuwa dalili ya Yeye (Mungu) kwamba tunatakiwa kuwa marafiki na tusilaumiane kwa kosa lolote."

Mwanamume akajibu: "Kweli kabisa, nakubaliana na wewe moja kwa moja."

Mwanamke akaonyesha chupa ya wine iliyokuwa imedondoka chini na kusema: "Walau chupa hii ya wine kutoka kwenye siti ya nyuma ya gari langu haikuvunjika. Hakika Mungu anataka sisi tunywe wine hii na tusherehekee bahati yetu ya kunusurika na ajali."

Akampatia mwanamume chupa hiyo ya mvinyo. Mwanamume akaitikia kwa kutikisa kichwa, akaifungua na kugugumia katika theluthi ya mvinyo ili kupoza fadhaa zake. Mwanamke akachukua chupa hiyo, akaifunga na kumrudishia tena.

Mwanamume akauliza: "Hunywi kidogo?"

Mwanamke akajibu: "Hapana. Nadhani nitawasubiri polisi."

THIS IS FOR THE MOST WONDERFUL LOVE OF MY LIFE!

 Opening the door to my “home” is like opening my heart to all the happiness my world has ever known.  Waiting inside is an invitation to the warmest wishes and the highest hopes anyone will ever know.  Love lives in its fullest and most beautiful form in the space that surrounds us.  When I’m with you, I’m in a place that embraces me with open arms and keeps me close forever.

Few people on earth could understand the worth of this treasure to me.  But you are a man who understands so much about what love should be.

There are words that only we can say, smiles that only we can inspire and dreams that can only be shared between two people who cares …..… the way we do!.  What we share is so essential to everything that makes my world work out the way I want it to.  We share something that is stronger than any storm, that is beautiful and caring and warmth that is supportive and trusting and sweet, Wow!!!

Our love is something our HEARTS and our HAPPINESS will always Treasure and Keep.………..

Love is two people, smiling, trusting, compromising, respecting, sharing, holding hands and caring about each other.  Two souls, held within one another’s hearts.  Two paths, converging on the way to the same beautiful view.  Love is walking the way and sharing the days……... together.  Love is opening up to one another.  Sharing thoughts and feelings in a way that never felt as comfortable as before.  It is a complete trust, sweetened with a lot more understanding and communication than most people will ever know.

Love is two hearts that share and which are able to say things that no outsiders ever could.  Love is an inner door that only partner has the key to.  Love is a gift, continually giving joy, and it’s something always count on.  It is strong and supportive, and few things in the entire world ever compare with the HAPPINESS that comes from its wonderful bond.

Loving you is my very own DREAM come true!

CHEKA KIDOGO: KOPO LA CHOONI LAZUA MAMBO

Mchoro kwa hisani ya fas-digiclass.rutgers.edu

Jamaa mmoja aliamua kufanya kile ambacho hakikutarajiwa na wengi. Kila siku akishikwa na haja kubwa alijaza maji kwenye kopo na kwenda nalo chooni.

Baada ya kumaliza haja alipoangalia akakuta maji yote yamekwisha kabla hajayatumia, akadhani ni muujiza. Lakini hakutawadha. Siku ya pili hivyo hivyo.

Sasa siku ya tatu akaamua kulichunguza kopo la miujiza na ndipo alipogundua kwamba kumbe lilikuwa limetoboka.

Kwa hiyo alipoingia chooni akaamua kutawadha kwanza kabla ya kujisaidia.

Alipomaliza akatoka mbio na kusema: “Nimeliweza leo, halafu ndo nikajisaidia.”

CHEKA KIDOGO: KAZI YA KUFUNGUA

Mchungaji alikuwa kanisani akihubiri. Mwanzoni kabisa wa mahubiri alisema: “Siku ya leo ni njema kabisa machoni pa Bwana, kwa sababu leo tunakwenda kufungua vifungo vyote vya sheti. Kwa hiyo, tutafumba macho na kila mmoja aanze kuomba, afungue kila kitu kinachomkwaza… Naamini Bwana atasikia na maombi yako yatajibiwa. Haya, tufumbe macho sasa tuombe…”

Baada ya hapo kila mtu akapaza sauti yake kuomba kwa kila hitaji lake. Mchungaji aliposema ‘AMEN’ na watu wote wakaitikia na kufumbua macho.

Mara ikasikika sauti kutoka katikati ya waumini: “Bwana asifiwe, nimeweza!” Binti mmoja akainuka akishangilia huku kifua chake kikiwa wazi. Kabla hajaulizwa kulikoni huku wengine wakishangilia, yeye akasema: “Mwezi sasa nahangaika na sidiria hii, nimejaribu kuifungua imeshindikana, mpenzi wangu naye amehangaika kuifungua imeshindikana. Lakini leo imefunguka…!”

Wakati huyo akieleza, kijana mwingine naye akainuka na kusema: “Hata mimi imefunguka…!”

Wenzake wakamuuliza: “Nini?” maana hawakumuona akihangaika sana.

Akajibu: “Zipu! Ni baada ya kuyaona matiti ya huyo dada…”